Broken hearts
by hey-its-TSUNDERE
Summary: Tom Hiddleston plays Loki. But what if the real Loki finds out? What if he visits his 'other self' one time? What if he feels sympathy for the mortal? frostpudding / tomki ; yaoi ; drama ; may include a bit thorki later
1. Chapter 1

**Broken Hearts**

**Chapter 1**

**A/N: **This is my first frostpudding fanfiction

So there's a possibility that Tom or Loki might act out of character

Since I don't know how Tom Hiddleston really is in his free time, I can only guess

And I of course I can't know what Tom would really do in a situation like this

So it's all about guessing

I'm just another fangirl with a lot of feels ;-;

Please don't flame

And Enjoy!

* * *

After a long, exhausting day of filming, greeting, giving autographs and fleeing from fans, Tom came to his hotel room at last.

Totally warn out he closed the door and started to undress and make himself ready for bed.

He turned around as he thought he had heard something.

"What the hell? I must be imagining it…" Tom mumbled as he got into his pajama, which was his favorite Thor t-shirt and some sweat pants.

"Never was I that tired before…" he yawned and walked into the bathroom, already getting sleepy.

After brushing his teeth he washed his face and looked into the mirror.

He had to rub his eyes, as his reflection got blurry and his hair turned black, his eyes green and a grin spread on the reflections face. As he looked in the mirror again, it was back to normal though.

"I should really go to sleep…" he mumbled and left the bathroom. "Too much Loki today, I start to see him everywhere now." He joked.

He let himself fall on the bed and sighed, as he relaxed.

"I missed you…" he mumbled into the bed.

He closed his eyes, ready to drift off.

But then his eyes sprung open, as he heard something whisper.

He sat up and looked around. Though that wasn't very easy, since the room was pitch dark.

"Who's there?" he asked and stared into the darkness.

Of course there was no answer, Tom was starting to get nervous. Was he completely hallucinating now? Or was some sort of crazy fan hiding somewhere in his room? But how did they get his address or the key to his room? 'Nonsense…' he thought.

Just as he laid down one more time, he heard it again. "Thomas…" something hissed.

Almost immediately Tom was up again, sweat appearing on his forehead.

"Show yourself! Who's there?!" he asked, panic in his voice.

As he turned the light on, there was nothing there…

Tom was shaking on his whole body.

'I clearly heard my name, didn't I?' he asked himself.

He didn't feel like sleeping anymore. How could he?

In fact he stayed up the whole night, curled up on his bed.

The voice came back and was gone for hours. He had looked through the whole room, including the unlikeliest places. He felt so dumb after not finding anything. He just wanted the night to be over…

* * *

"Tom? Are you okay, you don't look very well…"Chris asked worried, as he saw the rings under Loki's eyes the next day at work.

"Oh…sorry. I'm alright, it was just a very long night." Tom sighed.

"If you say so…" Chris shrugged.

"Let's just get back to work…" Tom forced a smile.

"Okay." Chris smiled back.

…

"I need a break…" Tom said after a while of filming.

"Okay, 5 minutes." One of the team said.

Tom sighed and sat down on a chair. "I think I'm going to collapse any minute…" he mumbled, rubbing his face.

"If you don't feel well, you should really go home…" Chris said as he joined Tom.

"It's nothing really…" Tom lied.

"Don't lie to me. Just because you play Loki, doesn't mean you're as good as lying as he is." Chris chuckled. Tom smiled weak at him.

"You're right, but-"

"No buts. It doesn't help if you are not concentrating. We'll just shoot the scenes, where Loki is not appearing. So please get some rest." Chris said.

"Okay…" Tom said and stood up.

"Make sure you get the sleep you need." Chris called after him.

* * *

"Now I'm alone again…Great idea…" Tom already regretted going back to his hotel room.

The least he could do was trying to get some sleep after all.

He laid down on the big bed, but left the curtains open, so it wasn't too dark in the big, lonely room.

But he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes.

'When I close my eyes, the voice will come back again…'

He didn't want to be alone, the room was starting to freak him out, after he spent a while night awake in there.

"Thomas…" There it was again.

"Leave me alone!" Tom shouted at 'nothing'.

"Come to me…" The voice hissed like a snake.

"What do you want from me?! Who are you?!" Tom almost sobbed. Now he was a madman, great.

"Come to me…" the voice repeated.

"Come where to?" He sobbed. But just as he asked, he felt a strange force going through his body and it got him to go to the mirror in the bathroom.

Tom didn't dare to look at the mirror, too afraid of what he might see.

"Shh…Thomas, don't be scared…" The voice said gentle. "Come on, look at me…"

The Briton sobbed, but did as he was told.

First he saw himself, ashamed of the tears that ran down his cheeks.

"Don't cry, I'm not going to hurt you…" the voice promised. Tom's lips moved as it was said and soon his reflection changed.

Black hair, pale skin, green eyes…

It took Loki a moment to realize, who he saw in the mirror.

"L-Loki- This can't- I mean you're-" Tom couldn't think of anything to say. This was crazy…he was going insane.

"Loki of Asgard." Loki said and bowed.

"Y-You're not real, you're a fictional character. You're part of the human's imagination, brought to life by comics, animations and movies." Tom didn't know if to laugh or cry.

"That's what the world wants you to think, Thomas." Loki said a bit disappointed.

"Just a few days ago, everything was alright. So why am I seeing things that aren't there now?" He asked himself desperately. "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"Thomas…"

"No! Go away! Leave me alone!" Tom shouted and smashed the mirror with his fist.

What was left were pieces of glass and blood from Tom's injured hand, the illusion was gone.

"He's gone…" Tom said in relief and looked at his bleeding hand. "Everything's just fine." He sobbed quietly as he eyed his hand.

Then everything went white.

* * *

As Tom opened his eyes he was back in his bed. The sun was shining bright through the windows.

"A dream? It was just a dream…" he sighed and relief and sat up. He looked at his hand.

"Nothing…" he smiled to himself. So he wasn't going insane…

He stood up and went to the mirror in the bathroom.

"Nothing…" he chuckled. Never was he so glad to find a normal mirror in his life.

So he continued to do what he did everyday:

Dress himself, eat breakfast and make himself ready for another day of filming.

Everything was normal. No Loki to be seen, except himself as he continued the shoot for Avengers.

Or was it just another illusion of Loki's own magic?


	2. Chapter 2

**Broken Hearts**

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: **I struggled a bit with this chapter

I struggled a bit with this chapter, I hope you enjoy it :)

Have fun!

* * *

It was a very cheery evening. Tom enjoyed it very much so far.

It was the premiere of "Avengers" and he was having fun, as he chatted with colleagues and fans about his favorite role of the film: Loki.

After having this dream, nothing very special happened to him since then.

No voices in his head, no more illusions. Just quiet and peaceful evenings.

And now he finally got to finish the movie and to be here.

"Hey there!" Tom greeted the fans he saw as he walked by on the red carpet.

He suddenly felt someone's touch on his arm and turned around.

The actor noticed a pair of green eyes staring at him, demanding to follow. Like hypnotized he followed the person that pulled him towards a lonely, dark corner away from the cheering and shouting crowd.

There he was pressed against the wall, as he got back to his senses and realized what he just did.

Finally he could make out the person that led him here.

Tom remembered that dream again…With his reflection…Green eyes, pale skin, black hair and low voice.

"H-Hi there…n-nice costume you got there…" he said nervously, hoping the 'fan' would let him go.

"Costume?" The other man chuckled dangerously. "You still don't get it do you, Mortal?" he growled.

"G-Get what? I don't understand." Tom asked a bit frightened.

"You still think I'm nothing more than an illusion, don't you?" the person growled.

"Look, I really respect how you can stay in 'character', but it's enough now." Tom warned.

"Tom, Tom, Tom." The stranger laughed and let go of the actor.

Tom managed to catch his breath, avoiding the strangers gaze. "What do you want? An autograph? A photo?" Tom asked nervously.

Loki chuckled. "You're cute, still thinking I'm some kind of fan."

"O-of course." Tom stumbled.

"Never had I thought you'd be so naïve." Loki mumbled, grinning.

"I-I'm gonna go now…" Tom mumbled nervous and was about to leave.

Tom only took one step forward as Loki's hand grabbed the actors arm and pulled him close.

"Enough with the jokes…" Loki whispered in a serious tone, his expression dangerous, and his face close to the actors face.

And suddenly the actor felt enormous pressure around him and light spread through the atmosphere.

As the actor dared to open his eyes, which he had squeezed shut because of the bright light, he found himself in his own hotel room.

"H-How-" Tom stuttered and trembled, backing away from the god.

"How do you think, Thomas?" Loki smirked and came closer.

Tom felt the wall behind him, he was trapped…

"W-What do you want from me?" Tom pressed himself against the wall more, as he felt the god shift close.

"What I want?" Loki whispered and seemed to think for a moment.

"I want what I can never have…" He mumbled then and Tom swallowed, the answer not really helping.

"W-Why me?" Tom breathed.

"You still don't understand…" Loki sighed.

Then everything went white around Tom, a feeling that seemed far too familiar…

* * *

As Tom finally woke up, he found himself bound to his own bed.

He swallowed hard as he remembered…

He looked up as he heard footsteps coming closer, already knowing who it was. He slowly raised his head and looked at the raven's eyes. These emerald green eyes…

"What do you want from me?" Tom asked weakly, almost desperate.

Loki came closer, kneeling down before him and making Tom look up at him by cupping his cheeks.

"Answers…" Loki hissed.

"W-What answers?" Tom whimpered at the tight grip Loki had on him.

"Just everything…" Loki answered, though it didn't really help Tom understand anything.

Loki finally let go and Tom let his head fall.

He watched the god stand up then, walking through the room as if he was deep in thought.

"How come?" Loki finally mumbled after a long time of silence.

"W-What?" Tom asked confused and swallowed hard at the glance he earned for his question. He had absolutely no idea of how he should handle this situation, he didn't know what Loki wanted from him and he couldn't read the atmosphere, not sure of what the god would do next and what he was capable of.

"How come you've got everything I ever wanted?!" Loki snapped at him, coming close again to look the mortal in the eyes.

Tom expected anything, but certainly not this.

"W-What are you talking about?" and as soon as Tom asked the question, he already regretted asking.

"You know damn well what I am talking about, mortal! Don't play dumb with me!" Loki spat.

Tom shuddered, afraid of the god might do to him.

As Loki saw Tom's look, he took a deep breath to calm himself and then sighed.

"People love you, you have a happy life, a family and friends…What gives you the right to be happy?! What did you do to deserve that?! How come you have everything and I don't?!" Loki first talked calm, but jealousy and anger came over him again.

Tom blinked surprised. "W-Well I'm sorry for that…" he mumbled confused.

"No you're not, you will live your life after I'm gone, happy and carefree, while I wander through the 9 realms, searching for peace…But I won't let that happen!" Loki snapped.

"L-Listen, I know you had a hard life, I probably am the only one in the world who knows that best, but-" he was cut off by Loki's deep growl.

"You know nothing! How dare you tell me that you know better than anyone! You took the right to act me and what happened?! You have thousands of people who love, admire, even worship you for that…Those things that you played actually happened to me and what did I get?! Nothing but pain, depression and hatred! I should be the one to be loved! So don't tell me, that you understand!" Loki shouted.

Tom tilted his head to side, trying to avoid most of the screaming, which hurt in his ears.

Loki stared at the mortal, his look could probably kill people and Tom was glad he wasn't looking at Loki.

"I-I…" Tom stuttered, trying to say something to calm the god. „I'm very sorry…you're right, I have no idea what you have gone through and what pain you suffered…" Tom whispered and finally made eye contact with the raven haired man.

The god really seemed to calm down a bit. He took a deep breath, seeming to think about something.

"Tell me, mortal…" Loki finally said. "How did you do that? How did you win all those humans for yourself?" he asked.

"W-What?" Tom asked confused, but at least thought about what could be the reason. "I-I don't know…" as he looked the god in the eyes again, he swallowed hard and thought harder.

"I think they tried to understand you. In the movie they must have seen the pain of your figure, your role as shadow of your brother…I tried to show them the pain you have been through as best as I could and they really seem to understand." Tom tried to explain.

Loki stared at him for a while.

"Do you really think you understand my pain? The pain of my life as the dark sheep in my so called family?" Loki asked, but it wasn't an angry tone this time. It was broken and full of sadness and with a glint of hope in it.

Tom looked at him, before he carefully nodded.

"Yes…"


End file.
